Whack-A-Mole

Worry can play funny tricks on us.  When there are so many things to be thinking and keeping track of, the littlest notions can take up disproportionate space in my brain.  Lately, worries about my teeth have taken hold.  Not just mine, but that of my kids, too, since we have gone years without dental insurance and by default, dental care.  I  have some issues going on in my mouth that may have provoked the worry, and Elijah has been complaining of tooth pain lately, but in the past month it seems nearly every day I have been carrying unspoken anxiety that pops up, mole-like, at random moments. 

On Thursday, Elijah was complaining of a toothache while eating with others, and before I could whack-a--mole the thought, out popped a public comment about not being to the dentist in awhile.  Filter girl, filter!  I tried to just move on in the conversation, feeling a little dumb for blurting too much info.  That night, as I stood in the solace of the shower, the worry sprang to life, this time, a tummy-twisting knot intent on stealing my moment of peace.  As a lump of tears rose in my throat, I prayed.

It was a small prayer.  There with Pantene lather only half-rinsed out, I paused and lifted my hands, just asking God to take the worry, saying, "Lord you have the resources to meet our needs.  Everything we have is yours, so if it's your will, please make a way for us to take care of our teeth before we leave for Haiti.  And if not, please give me a peace to cover the anxiety." 

Praying about teeth feels silly.  What right do I have to ask the God of the universe to pay for my teeth and take care of my petty anxieties when there are so many pressing needs in this world? 

So that was it.  I moved on, really not giving that moment another thought.  The kids and I went to visit cousins in the Twin Cities for a couple of days.  Friday night, after everyone else in the house had gone to bed, I called Kirk to touch bases and see how his day had gone.  Before ending the conversation, he added, "oh, and something kind of cool happened today - I got an e-mail from someone and we're going to get help with our dental needs.  We just have to call and make an appointment."  Someone had heard my indiscreet comment about Elijah's teeth and for some reason chose to take action.  They made a few calls that turned into dental care for all of us.  They had no idea what I had been thinking and feeling for days, what I was going to pray that night, what God would do with their action...

Even before remembering my prayer the day before, tears came to my eyes with the relief of relieved anxiety.  And then I caught my breath as I rolled back the moment in my mind of the small prayer just the night before.

My little worries are enough for God to take notice of? 

My teeth can fit into his agenda right there next to dying babies and earthquakes?

I don't want this lesson to be lost on me, but this is really big to hold, that the God who holds both universes and sparrows can hold my worries, too!  I know this truth in a Sunday School way, but then there are moments like this, where the clarity becomes blinding.  It's like moving to the next story up in a building and realizing that in addition to city there is a beautiful forest or lake shore a little ways off.  God is changing my perspective, whacking my moles, moving my mountains,  showing me his greatness, and his great care.

  There may be days ahead where He will want me to lean on him through greater hardship or perhaps many days of little worries.  Can I learn to trust Him through it all and not be too prideful to ask for His hand?  Can I live like I know He is great?   "Oh Lord, you are much greater than I give you room to be! Open my eyes to Your fullness and replace my independence with full dependence on You!"