When you're used to taking care of others and believing you can handle anything one your own with enough tenacity, accepting the gifts of others is really humbling. I mean really humbling, but this week I've grown in allowing myself the notion that this care is God's hand.
I've been taught in my Reformed up-bringing, that every square inch of creation is claimed by Christ, and yet, in this privileged, Western influenced culture in which I've been raised, all of our belongings have a decidedly personal and individual flavor. Nearly every Christian I know would agree, "oh, yes, it's all God's", but when we are deciding how many square feet our homes need to be and what decor should bedeck the space or when we look in our closets and are bored with the array of choices and decide we need an additional piece... our behavior indicates we have definite beliefs about who's money we have. We claim a lot as ours. I am not simply pointing fingers here. This is a daily struggle I fight with my flesh and I am wrestling with how to work out where the line is between being blessed and being selfish. How much does he allow us choice, longing for our obedience and reflection of his nature, and how much does he determine by simply moving his vast resources where he most desires them to be? (Surely this is not a new question for Christians!)
I don't know that I need to have a defined answer to these questions to appreciate what God is teaching me these days. What I am recognizing is that when I am "gifted" by fellow believers, I am learning two things. First, to respond to the leap of joy in my heart and say thanks to God for his lavish provision, and second to celebrate the reflection of Christ I am witnessing in a brother or sister in Christ. How many of us get to see this close up? Oh how I wish I could tell you the names of the people who have blessed me this week! Not for glory but for celebration of God's greatness and human responsiveness to him, that you might share more fully in fellowship we have experienced this week! But I think I can get the point across without names, since these could be any believers living out generous obedience.
I had mentioned in a previous post about having worries about our family's dental needs. Earlier this week we had the privilege of receiving care. And as I sat in the office I was suddenly filled with strong emotion. I have never imagined a visit to the dentist as being a spiritual thing, but I felt such love and gratitude to those providing our care as they reflected God at work in their lives, and such awe at how God was taking care of my "little worry" in a big way. It made me feel closer to these brothers and sisters in Christ! I felt a new bond with them as they used their gifts and talents to bless my family, allowing us a peek into their hearts, and allowing them a peek into ours by letting them serve us. If they had been too busy or selfish to have given of their time and service or if we had been too prideful to accept, we would both have missed out on a blessing that can't be bought!
Then for a second time this week I was made aware of God's gifting through others. We are putting the finishing touches on our support letter and have not yet made any public request for financial support as we prepare for our move to Haiti. But this week a significant donation in our name was made at church! I was blown away! When Kirk told me about the gift, again my heart was so full of joy and praise to God! Wow, is he amazing! It was like a personal note from God saying, "Here's the start. The exact wording of your request on paper is nice but is not necessary to accomplish my purposes. I will take care of what you need to get to Haiti because that is where I want you to be for the sake of my kingdom."
Did this family have any idea that their gift would be used to speak to me in this way? Was it given with a prayer that it be worth more than the dollar amount could pay for? I doubt it, but I hope to tell them sometime soon what God used it for and maybe change the way I give by adding that simple prayer of blessing! God is so good! He takes meaningless, ink-printed paper to which we have assigned value, and turns the value into something of far greater worth. The paper value will quickly be spent and be gone, but the God-value compounds as my heart is tied to another believer's, strengthening both of us for greater service in God's kingdom.
A theme that has been developing in my understanding of God in the past few years is his relational nature. I am coming to realize the great intimacy he experiences within himself which he longs to share with us, and how he is tickled pink when his kiddos reflect that intimate fellowship with one another. Pastor Steve preached on this topic this morning, and it reinforced this notion.
I think that's what this stuff is all about. How we are to think about what is "ours", how we are to think about what to buy or not to, what to support or not to, how to share our lives with one another or not to, etc. The old "WWJD" got to be a cliche, but the question still lies at the heart of living out our gratitude for how God has loved us - to live out the kind of relational intimacy with his people and his creation that he has shown us!
"Love the Lord your God will all your heart,
with all your mind, and with all your strength,
and love your neighbor as yourself."
Oh Lord, teach me to give my all for intimacy with you and true fellowship with my brothers and sisters.
_____________________________________________________________
We got some new pics of the girls today! Here they are:
Natalie
Rose
Can't wait to hug them and kiss their chubby cheeks! : ) Doesn't the COTP staff do a great job of pics?
